Thursday, April 03, 2008

Wisdom For Your Wednesday

Coercion rears its ugly head and I cower under its gaze.

Well . . . okay. So there's that flattery thing too. We all know that's really what I'm unable to resist.

What, you might ask, has been going on here since November when I last posted? What extraordinary insight do I have into the affairs of the day? Where is the eloquence and depth that you clamor for?

Brace yourselves.

For starters, Dancing With the Stars is utterly appalling this year. The reasons are legion, but I remain particularly traumatized by the Dancing With the Stars orchestra and singers butchering Roxanne as a couple (which one? It's impossible to tell - they are all interchangeable) danced the Tango. Yes, you heard me. The Tango. It simply doesn't bear thinking about another second.

Btw, who ever knew there were Wikipedia entries for songs??

Moving on.

It's always wise to double check resources being utilized while exploring Ancient Greece with an 11 and 12 year old (girl and boy respectively). Otherwise awkward moments could potentially ensue when reading about the Minoan culture - specifically the Minoan woman's choice of attire. Trying to act utterly nonchalant about bare-breasted Minoan women in the face of just-on-the-cusp-of-adolescence children is . . . oh who am I kidding? It's utterly impossible. Trust me.

Sitting in a theater with Kristin and Rebecca is quite clearly a mistake when a film like Stop-Loss is in the offing. I tell you this so that you may avoid the specter of potential social suicide. It's true that snorting hysterical laughter during a burial scene is indeed a social faux pas, but I maintain that there was no other reaction available to anyone watching that film.

When friends, relatives and total strangers on the street are aware of your oft repeated revulsion for country music, it's best not to be seen belting out the lyrics to Shania Twain's Any Man of Mine:

We all muck out stables in a midriff baring top. Ask anyone.

Oh yeah, there's that other song too - Coal Mine by Sara Evans


Damn you, husband o' mine for leaving that disc in the car.

5 comments:

Storybook Woods said...

Yes I have my bare midriff top on-hand and ready for when ever I muck out the stables. Akkk what a frightening picture that is Clarice

countrymouse said...

Three cheers for coersion!!!

I too felt a little guilty for the laughing out loud and the hand gestures that meant "come on, already!" during the touching funeral scene. And the touching packing up of his dead buddy's gear scene. And the touching loading onto the bus for deployment scene. And all other touching scenes of the movie. What I was thinking was "somebody actually sat at their keyboard writing this and thought it was profound." Then again, I embarrass myself daily with my profound thoughts . . .

Props to Ryan Phillippe for staying true to his Elvis impersonation throughout the entire movie--now there's some stick-to-itness for you!

And regarding you and the children and the study of ancient civilizations? *snicker* BOOBIES *snicker* : )

Now--we're not letting another 5 months lapse between blog entries are we? ARE WE??? ; )

Influencebad said...

Okay I almost peed my pants I was laughing so hard when I clicked on the link to the Minoan women's attire.... you neglected to mention that to me when it happened!!!

And yes, I, too, felt a little bit bad laughing at the funeral scene in Stop Loss. Especially when Channing Tatum was having his emotional break down.... at least, I think that's what that was.

In conclusion...

YAY! A POST!!!!!!!!!

Mom said...

Glad to see you post again. You are always so clever. I must say the Minoan are quite perky. Bet there were a lot of giggles.

Angie said...

Yaaaaay! You're baaaack! Thank God (okay, Kristin) for coercion! Thanks for the laughs...now I must follow the Minoan link and experience this well-ventilated attire for myself..