Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Another Motherhood Low Point

You know it's not going to be a good day when you resort to making threats against your 10 yr. old daughter's new shirt.

That's right.

I said "her new shirt".

Here's how it all played out:

Me - Are you going to wear that shirt? It's supposed to be, I don't know, something like 65 degrees out there today and that thing's sleeveless.
S- Yes. I'll be fine. I wore it yesterday and it was even colder than today. I'll wear a jacket outside.
Me- Wait. That's right! You did wear that yesterday. Is that even clean???
S- Yes. Daddy put it in the wash for me when you asked that he throw a load of laundry in while he was feeding the cat.
Me- Oh yeah. That's right, I remember. Wait. Weren't you supposed to be feeding the cat?
S- Umm . . .well . . . uhh . . . anyway. Look. The shirt's fine. Clean and everything.
Me- Wait. It's unbuttoned.
S - Yeah? I like it that way. It's okay. See? I have that white, sleeveless undershirt thing on too.
Me - *groan*. A sleeveless button down shirt over a white undershirt?! You look like a truck driver.
S-I like the way it looks. Besides, what's wrong with truck drivers?
Me - (rushing to instill respect for all professions) Nothing at all. Driving a truck is a fine and noble thing to do. *sigh* Just button it up.
S- I LIKE it this way. It's comfortable and it looks like a vest.
Me - Yeah, in some alternate universe maybe.
Me - Look. We're going out today. Just button the thing up while we're out.
S - I LIKE it this way.
Me - Okay, fine. Like it that way. You're entitled to like all sorts of things. However, you're just also expected to BUTTON THAT SHIRT when we're headed out for the day!
S - *stubborn silence*
Me - S?
S - *stubborn silence coupled with arms crossed over chest*
Me - S!?
S - *stubborn silence, arms crossed over chest and eyes raised to the ceiling*
*Tick Tock goes the clock*
Me - Look, (and here's where I hit my low point. Yeah, I know. I hit it way back, but it was here that it was finally clear to me) IF YOU EVER WANT TO SEE YOUR SHIRT AGAIN, YOU'D BETTER BUTTON IT UP.

"If you ever want to see your shirt again, you'd better button it up"?

To make this threat more credible, I suppose I should have snipped various sized letters from the newspaper and assembled them to form the threat on another piece of paper. I could have even added a snip of fabric as added incentive.

Next time I'll be a bit more prepared.


Influencebad said...

That is FANTASTIC. ^_^ All you need is some ominous music playing in the background while you utter your threat, maybe a dramatic flash of lightning. I expect ol' Suzy Q was shaking in her boots after that one. ^_^ Did she button her shirt?

Kristin said...

Oh Mary--I have a picture in my head of you sitting methodically and diabolically making threats to innocent shirts with henchmen in pin striped suits standing behind you looking menacing.

The mental snapshot also includes a clever, precocious S calling her attorney with all willingness to take it to the next level ; )

Good luck with this one : )

Storybook Woods said...

Mary you know the problem is that sweet little girl is pretty darn clever. Maybe even more than her mother !! Clarice

Q said...

Dear Mary,
I so remember my daughter and I discussing her outfits!
Never thought of the sizzors. Hers needed more fabric.
I was a teenager in the 1960's!
Could not say too much as my mini skirts and hip huggers were rather skimpy.
My Mother did not say a word.
Mothers and Daughters!
Thanks for the laughter,

Mary said...


Yes, S did button up her shirt.

That is, at first.

After getting to my friend Angie's, our regular Wednesday outing, she proceeded to run outside and play madly . . . with her shirt unbuttoned and "looking like a vest".